Itachi's Side of the Story
by Lil Bre
Summary: What would happen if there was another way the Uchiha clan was wiped out? What would happen if the clan wasn't ACTUALLY wiped out? Hmmm Stinkiness ensures
1. Default Chapter

Alright! I've been reading the Naruto comics for quite some time now. I came up with this idea… "Hey, what would happen if that's not what happened with Sasuke and Itachi? Hmmm…." So I came up with this! I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1- Uh oh…

Young Uchiha Itachi traveled home one evening from his 3rd successful S-Rank mission. He was going home to announce to his family about how he is now captain of the ANBU.

Unfortunately, he has gone days upon days without a bath and stank to high heaven!

Everything he passed, flowers, trees, people, dogs, either died out or fainted at the smell. As he was almost home, he turned around and noticed people, animals, and plants were dying.

"Oh God! Who has been causing such destruction?" Itachi gazed at the path he walked in shock. He smelled the air. "What the hell is with that horrible stench!" He then smelled his armpits and almost fainted himself. "Ew…. I better get home before I kill anything else!" He declared as he entered the Uchiha estate.

As he ran as fast as he could to his home, the smell followed him. As he quickly past his family members, the foul odor hit them like a sonic boom, knocking them and everything around over.

The Uchiha clan all fainted because of the odor and the good amounts of blood they lost from nosebleeds.

Meanwhile, little Uchiha Sasuke decided to walk home from his training in the forest. He was training be himself since his older brother had to leave for an S-Rank mission.

He took the path he and his brother usually take and noticed miles upon miles of destruction. People were laying on ground twitching bleeding. Animals either twitching or dead. Trees melted or burned. Flowers all decayed. He followed the path and stopped when it came towards the Uchiha Clan estates. He entered through the almost broken gates and stopped at the destruction.

Dead birds lying everywhere on the ground. Uncles, aunts, and cousins lying in puddles of blood. Small homes and compounds collapsed. He wondered farther in the estate and saw something that will scar him for life…

….

…. His little dog, Juju, twitching and panting on the ground.

Sasuke ran towards the dog and picked him up carefully. "Who would do such a thing… Juju…"

Itachi finally entered his house and quietly closed the door. He wanted to get a good bath before he could come near his parents. As he almost made it to the bathroom, his mother noticed him and called,

"Itachi! Is that you?" Mrs. Uchiha's eyes began to tear up at the sight of her eldest son. "Seto! (I was under pressure…. I can't think of a name right now…) Itachi's back!" Soon, his father came to the living room and smiled at his son.

"Itachi!" His father and mother went up to him. He tried his best to back up from them but he was cornered.

"We've missed you!" As they tightened him in a tight embrace, the stinky smell of Itachi ran straight up their nose.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The two shriek as they backed away from him.

"I was trying to bath before you guys got close to me!" Itachi walked up his parents. The smell them spread all over the living room. Both his parents' noses burst with nosebleeds and the two fell on top of each other, unconscious.

"…oh crap…" Itachi heard the door fly open to reveal his baby brother, Sasuke. "…oh shit…"

"You… did this…?" Sasuke looked at his brother and saw his parents on the ground covered in blood. Sasuke's onyx eyes widen in terror and glared emotionlessly at Itachi and began to attack him. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

"No, wait!" Itachi tried to warn, but it was too late. His nasty stinky foul stench blasted from his armpits and straight onto Sasuke. His little brother was knocked out. Itachi began to panic. The best thing he could do was to take a bath and report this to the 4th Hokage.

As stripped himself of his clothing and started scrubbing him clean. As a good hour passed, he finally felt clean… but his armpits still stunk to high heaven. As he was about to leave to get some better deodorant, he noticed that his little brother disappeared.

"Oh crap… he's going to tell the Hokage the wrong thing! Oh crap oh crap oh crap! I gotta get out of here!" Soon, he packed a few things and left the Hidden Leaf Village forever.

So whatcha think? That's how I really think what happened! I mean come on, you'd faint too if you haven't bathed in days and been fighting and junk, too! Please review!


	2. A New Friendship

Okay! This story is starting to make some sense to me as I slowly read more of the comic and slowly think up other things. Thanks for the reviews and onto the disclaimer!

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto. If I did, it would be in America by now, I'd be rich, and I wouldn't be writing about this story… so… yeah…

Chapter 2- Find a little hope

Itachi traveled day and night to nowhere when he left the village. As midnight came, he stopped in the middle of a meadow to rest. As he laid on the tall grass, it died right under him from his horrible stench.

"STUPID ARMPITS!" Itachi cursed as he began to kick nothingness. He tired himself out and sat back now. _'There's only one thing to do in a situation like this…' _ Itachi thought to himself…

He cried.

Literally. He brawled like a baby dropping his ice cream cone. "AAAHHHH! What am I doing! I didn't have to leave! Now I'm in the middle of nowhere, with everyone and every_thing_ dying right in behind me, and I'm talking to myself! OH God, NOW I'M GOING TO END UP LIKE THE EYEBROW GUY!" Itachi began to panic as he ran around in circles, pulling at his hair (Fan girls: NOT IS HAIR! 'faints'). He soon tired himself out again and sat down in the crop circle he created. He put his knees up to his chin and cuffed them with his arms. He sat in that position until a strong gust of wind knocked him into the fetal position, which he fell into a dreamless sleep.

Meanwhile at the Uchiha Clan's estate, med-nins were examining the fainted bodies.

"They all seem to have a pulse," one of the meds resulted.

"Ew! They smell bad, too!" another med-nin exclaimed holding his already covered nose.

"They all stink!" some med from a distant yelled.

"We better put them in these bags," the head-med tossed his teammates piles of black bags. "Don't want them making everyone else smell this. As soon as they wake from his smelly coma, we'll scrub them down with some of the new, improved Dove soap." The med-nins placed each Uchiha into individual bags and zipped them up, but not all the way so that they could still breathe.

As the med-nins carried the body bags towards the hospital, little Sasuke stared in horror as his family members were being carried in black dead-body bags. Sasuke began to tear up as he bolted out the estate.

"Hey, boss," another random med ran up to the head-med carrying a body bag over his shoulder, "shouldn't we tell the little boy, Sasuke that his family is in a coma when they smelt his awful stench covering them?"

"We'll tell him when he comes to the hospital."

The morning sun rose in the east. Itachi's dark eyes began to open and he stretched in the open plains. He noticed something, or someone was shading him from the sun. He rubbed his eyes and noticed a tall figure blocking the sun. He looked closer and saw the he was some ugly lizard-looking guy with marks under his eyes.

"HOLY CRAP!" Itachi jumped to his feet and backed away from the creature. "Who the heck are you!" As he stood up, he noticed that the person was indeed a head taller than the Uchiha.

"I'm Hoshigaki Kisame," he introduced. He walked closer to Itachi, whom backed away.

"What are you doing here?" Itachi demanded.

"I was just gathering food and I noticed that a little guy like you shouldn't be all alone," Kisame smiled. "You must be hungry, seeing that all you have with you is a toothbrush and some clothes."

"I am not," Itachi denied. Truthfully, he didn't eat anything since he became captain of the ANBU force, which was days ago. "And I'm not little!"

"You're little compared to me," Kisame smirked at Itachi, who struggled to walk. He held his smug expression, walked over to Itachi, and handed him a few fruits. "Why are you here all alone? You must either be the Uchiha that disappeared or dusted(1) off his entire family with one swipe."

"I did not dust off my family, whatever 'dusted' means in your language!" Itachi protested. "What a stupid rumor! My family simply passed out because…"

"Because…?" Kisame urged on.

"I have terrible body odor alright!" Itachi admitted. "I ran away from home because my brother would have told the Hokage about my odor and ban me from the village."

"I know someone that might can help you with that problem," Kisame said. "His name is Orochimaru. He can find that cure, but you must find the ingredients yourself."

"For real? Where can I find him?" Itachi perked up.

"Follow me if you wish," Kisame turned to leave.

"Hey, wait." Kisame stopped in his tracks. "Why do you want to help me so badly? And why haven't you already fainted from my stench?"

"You're the only person who actually stayed and talked to me. I haven't had any friends in my life." The lizard-man turned and pointed to his face. "And I don't really have a nose, knocking out my sense of smell."

"Oh." Itachi finished off the last piece of apple and threw the core on the ground. "Let's get started, if we want to get anywhere by sunset." Kisame smiled as Itachi caught up with him.

"Let's go then."

"Kisame, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

Well, how you like? And no, this will NOT be a Kisame/Itachi! That's kind of weird to me! Please review!


	3. Ignore the Title

Yay! People like my story! Well, at least I think they do…o.o Oh well.

DISCLAIMER!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I only own Itachi's extreme stinkiness.

Chapter 3- Stupid dark places

Itachi and Kisame traveled for three days without rest until they reached another village.

"You think he's here?" Itachi asks the lizard-man.

"No," he answers. "We have to walk through the village to get to Orochimaru early."

"Can't we just… walk around the village? I don't think I could enter another village in my condition," the Uchiha said as he began to slow down as they got closer to the gates.

"Come on," Kisame grabbed his arm, "the fastest way around this circle if going straight through it. And besides, it's flu season, so everyone's nose is going to be stuffed up. Just keep you arms down and you'll be fine." As Kisame attempted to open the gates, kunais flew down at them and they jumped out of the way.

"Who wishes to enter my village?" a person at the peak of the tall gate glared down at them. He has pale bluish-gray eyes and sandy brown hair. He appeared to be around the age of 9 and was very small. He carried a long stick in his hands and a ferret was lying on his shoulders.

"We just wish to pass through and find something to eat," Kisame replied calmly towards the eight-year-old. The boy leapt off the tall, stone wall and faced the gate. He armed himself with the stick he was carrying.

"We're right here," Itachi grabbed his shoulder and turned the boy around. "What are ya, blin- oh…" The eldest Uchiha gazed into the boy's eyes and finds out he's indeed blind.

"Maybe I am! Fight me and you can pass!"

"What's your name, child?" Itachi asks him as he stops the child's blind rampage with his foot.

"I am Kino Yamachi," Yamachi introduced himself as he jumped away from the smelly Uchiha. "I'll show you not to underestimate my disability." Yamachi began to charge at him once more. The ferret began to charge as well.

"Wait a second kid," Itachi raised his arms up in defense. His foul smell blasted from his underarm and knocked the child and animal back against the gate. They knocked over the gate with the great impact. "Oh man…"

"Well… you _did_ defeat him…" Kisame kicked the sandy-haired child gently in the head. "He's not dead, though. I dunno about the ferret…" They look at the ferret and found it twitching with its paws in the air. "Let's go."

"But what about the kid?" Itachi asks concerned.

"He'll be fine," the lizard man grabbed Itachi's sleeve and pulled him into the village. "Remember, keep your arms closed, or else everyone will turn up like that Yamachi kid." They entered the village of Kamikaze. People were rushing left and right down the main street trying to get wherever they're trying to get to. "The main road is just a straight line to the other side. If we can get through here then we can get to Orochimaru quicker."

"I don't do crowds, Kisame," Itachi said as he began to back out. "Just one whiff of me and you'd be out for days, weeks even." Truthfully, Itachi doesn't do well in crowded places because he is claustrophobic and he pushes people out the way.

"We'll be in and out within minutes," Kisame continued to pull Itachi through the crowded village. As they were halfway through the crowd, it became tighter and tighter until people were touching Itachi.

"TOO CROWDED!" Itachi's scream echoed throughout two countries and a couple of dimensions.

(In Alabama…)

Lil Bre and her friend, Mela-Kenzu-chan were boredly drawing pictures in art class when they heard a piercing screech from nowhere.

"Did you hear that?" Mela-Kenzu asks.

"Hear what?" Lil Bre looks at her confusingly.

"Nevermind…"

Back in Kamikaze, Itachi's reaction to the overcrowded street resulted him into flinging his arms up and trying to push people out the way. But it didn't really happen that way…

"AAHHH THE SMELL!" a man from a third floor building yelled as he fell off the building and into a pool of tomatoes.

"EEEWWWW!" Everyone let out a pitching scream before they were thrown against buildings, trees, and cows and collapsed to the ground. The buildings, plants, and animals either died, collapsed, or melted on impact of the people or the powerful blast that came from Itachi's armpits. Within 45 seconds, the once loud and crowded village was silent and destroyed.

"…" Itachi's shut his mouth, which was hanging the whole time, and peered over at his friend. Kisame was standing stiffly in place, with his mouth wide open, staring left and right at his surroundings. The little hair he had on his hair was in small flames until it went out.

"God damn, Uchiha," was all the lizard man said. "What a weapon! Just imagine the enemies you can knock over if you find out your foul odor's full potential!"

"Let's just get outta here," Itachi said glumly as he started to walk down the main road. He shoved his hands in his pockets and hung his head low.

"Since you melted all the food, we'll take this cow here," Kisame threw the large cow over his shoulders as if it was a small sack. "Hey, if you use your armpits, the cow can get cooked!"

Itachi pushed him into a building and it collapsed on top of him.

"Moron."

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So…? You likey? Well… REVIEW!


	4. The Heck

Okay you guys LISTEN UP! Well… as of tomorrow, I'm going back to school. Yes I know, it's still summer and I haven't been updating as fast as I promised. I start work at Mickey D's Friday, and I have school to do so I won't be _online _for a couple of… months. I'm in the 11 grade! What da heck did you expect! I gotta start preparing for college and all that crap. Okay so this is what I'm going to do with all of my stories…

To those reading **_That's Adult Life_**- I'm gonna try my best to finish that. It only has a few more chapters (3 or 4 to be exact) to go before its over with. I have ideas but I dunno where to place them

To those reading **_Sounds Like a Musical_**- As I said, I have ideas, I dunno how to put them in words. It has a way to go before that's finished. So I'm trying okays.

To those reading **_Itachi's Side of the Story_**- Only about a few more chapters to go, maybe 1 or 2. Geez… I have so many stories to update that I'm getting all da ideas screwed around with -.- Patience people.

To those reading **_The Blind Tailed Beast_**- I've been writing the next chapter down in a notebook and all I gotta do is type it down on my free time. But it's going along great!

To those reading **_Flusious_**- I gotta finish this story… I'm running outta things to do with them so… it'll have only 1 or 2 chapters left. But hey, if you're all good you might get a sequel!

To those reading **_The Love For One Man_**- Guess what you guys, since you've been voting all this time, I'm gonna to give you all ALTERNATE ENDINGS! (gets hit by a potato) OW! All right! Give me a break, I'm working at McDonalds! NO DISCOUNTS FOR YOU YOU PERSON WHO THREW THE POTATO!

To those reading **_The Clow Card Thief_**- Okay so I haven't been paying that much attention towards this story… (gets hit by a shoe) OW! I'll finish it! I'll finish it!

To those reading **_Assassinating The One You Love_**- Only 3 or 4 chapters to go. I'm just leaving you guys in that cliff ain't I? (gets hit by a toy truck) OWW! X.O My eye! What's with you guys and the author abuse, eh! I'll finish it! I'm just stuck at something, so calm the heck down!

So that's about it. I'll write the chapters down on paper and then find a computer (if my mom doesn't catch me) and try to get it online. So have a great rest of the summer and a somewhat less painful school year.

Later Monthz

Lil Bre


	5. Aw Man Not Again

Gosh darn it all! Another friggin hurricane ish coming and I only have a few hours left to type this message! READ IT FOR IT MAY BE THE LAST! (for another few months I suppose)

As you already know… Hurricane Katrina is turning towards Mobile (where I live) and Biloxi (? Spelling) If this thing hits my midnight, I, and a few other beloved authors and authoresses, will be screwed for a good few months or so.

Everyone in those areas please be careful. I dunno if you ran or not, but Mela-Kenzu-Chan, The Crazed Pryomanic, and I have no choice BUT to stay in our homes.

Don't get me wrong, I've been trying my best to write and type my next chapters! But all this school work gotten to me and Hurricane Katrina is gonna murder our power for who knows how long.

For further updates, read our bios to see if we're alive.

Later Dayz

Lil Bre


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